You agreed to something you didn’t believe in. And it made you sick.
There’s a moment most powerful women know all too well.
You are in a high-stakes room. It could be work. It could be elsewhere.
Someone proposes a path you don’t agree with.
And instead of pushing back, you nod along.
Not because you lack conviction.
But because you’re reading the room, calculating the politics, and managing someone else’s reaction without even realizing you are doing it.
You walk out uncomfortable, thinking,
What just happened?
The issue is not your hesitation.
It is the years you spent learning to silence your opinion so others could stay comfortable.
That conditioning follows you into every high-stakes room.
Let me show you how.
Room 1: The Client Room
This is where your instincts are worth money, measured in trust and origination.
You hear the concern behind the words.
You spot the strategic gap no one else names.
You create clarity when others stall.
But if only your closest colleagues know this, the partnership never connects your insight to your value.
Your instincts need to be spoken, and they need to be shared widely.
Room 2: The Conference Room
This is where approval-seeking collides with your values.
You are asked to “represent the firm” in ways that do not align with your judgment.
You are tapped for a pitch outside your practice area because “we need a woman.”
Saying yes can feel easier than absorbing the discomfort of no.
But every time you agree to something you do not believe in, you teach the room to see you as agreeable rather than discerning.
Leadership requires a more courageous posture.
Room 3: The Internal Room
This room is invisible to others and shapes everything that follows.
Here, your relationship with your inner critic determines which moves feel safe.
If you are like many of the highly accomplished women I coach, the critic whispers:
You are too much.
You will be rejected if you push back.
Do not speak up unless you are certain. Stay safe.
When you let this voice drive, you watch yourself become smaller to stay acceptable.
And you feel the cost of that immediately.
Here is the deeper truth.
There is only one real you, and she exists now.
But she will not lead until you choose to support her.
You strengthen her when you speak her ideas.
You strengthen her when you shape your career instead of letting others decide how you are known.
No one taught you how to do this.
So do not blame yourself.
The real you is not someone you meet after the world becomes fair.
She is already here, waiting for you to back her.
Your identity and your communication are meant to travel together.
When they separate, you lose momentum you have already earned.
This is why I’m hosting “Coming Out as Yourself in BigLaw” this Wednesday, December 10 at 1 pm ET, on LinkedIn.
In our Live, Roy Sexton (CMO of Vedder Price) and I will walk you through:
• how to honor your voice in all three rooms
• how to protect yourself without caving to backlash
• how to express yourself without losing influence
You will also receive a cheat sheet with 10 power moves you can use in your next high-stakes moment. You'll also have the chance to ask us questions and learn alongside peers who are navigating the same pressures.
You deserve to lead as one integrated version of yourself.
Join us on December 10 at 1pm ET.
Not registered yet? Click here.
xo,
Rachel
P.S. If you know you're ready to show up differently, you can book a 1:1 call. You still have a few weeks to lock in 2025 pricing and build a 2026 plan that reflects your instincts, your ambitions, and your voice.
