My First Time at the Mike on Racism

Yesterday, I winced at the news of Kanye West's (“Ye?” Huh?) latest hate speech, and I applaud his downfall. As a (white) and Jewish woman lawyer (I am writing on behalf of my business deliberately, which I will explain below) who really, really wants to live in a more equitable world, I feel compelled to weigh in this time. Yesterday on LinkedIn, Ada Okafor, Esq. and david mcqueen (his name in his LI profile is in lowercase) wisely point out a discrepancy between the swift and widespread response to West’s anti-Semitic comments, when the world let him carry on after his racist ones. I agree. I want to uplift some strategies that I believe would be beneficial to furthering the conversation.

But first ~ if you agree or disagree, let me be both crystal clear and warmly inviting - I would *love* to chat with you, whether offline and/or publicly, here or on the business’s page on LinkedIn. I have never stepped up to the mike so directly on a racial topic before, so I'm a little nervous. If I am following your remarks fully, and *please correct me if I am not,* I agree that both: (1) racism and (2) a lack of diversity & coordinated progressive influence in the halls of power explain the discrepancy outlined in the posts cited above. I also want to share that I take my cues from so many Jewish people who have stood up against racism - starting with the late rabbi at the synagogue where I grew up, Judea Miller, who marched alongside Dr. King, and leading up to his current successor, Rabbi Peter Stein of Temple B’rith Kodesh, who stands up publicly against racism. In my immediate vicinity, here in Rochester, New York where I live, I move in a circle of people who are committed to justice and anti-racism work in a variety of ways. I would love to list each of them, but it is beyond the scope of what I want to say today.

Why (am I speaking up) today and not earlier? Is it because I am Jewish and West’s anti-Semitic remarks struck a nerve? In my case, no. Sadly, as we all know, in 2015, “Voldemort” unleashed a whole new wave of hatred, including anti-Semitism, around the world, so I guess perhaps I’m a bit desensitized to it (not my final answer, though). I am speaking up today because I am deeply inspired by some of the racial justice education and inspiration I've been taking in over the years/lately (including of course, the remarks referenced above) - and also on a more personal level, having recently started a new business (aimed at empowering women lawyers in particular), I suppose I finally feel fully "in my power." Lastly, having found and deployed some very powerful tools of reconciliation and relationship building over the last decade, I feel prepared to engage, finally (with the caveat, again, that I may screw this up).

My ideas/brainstorms are organized from an outside (societal) perspective to an internal (personal) perspective:

1. At the widest level, we need to create (or if it already exists, elevate) a coordinated strategy to reverse this pattern. I'm recalling my friends and role models who are LGBTQIA+, and that community's long-term effort to make gay marriage legal 🙌🏳‍🌈 through the power of coalitions. I presume some coalitions already exist on today’s topic ~ please share in the blog or company LI page their names/leaders so I can engage and uplift their work. We need to amplify these leaders and build an army of followers so their opinions are taken seriously and carry the maximum weight possible.

2. Next circle in: my network, including who I can reach through this business and what we can do collectively, here:

a. Highlight the work of DirectWomen, an organization which puts women lawyers on corporate boards. If you go to their website, you'll see the success stories they've highlighted include Juliette Pryor, Kellye Walker, and Sarah Dodds-Brown, all African-American women lawyers. Why women lawyers, specifically? My best guess - beyond command of the law, of course - we women lawyers have the power of words, the skills of collaborative “feminine style” leadership and dang, we know how to organize. I'm so inspired by everyone who touches this uber-leveraged, uber-valuable effort.

b. Uplift resources that help guide needed conversations on race, like the Guided Conversations Project by - you guessed it - the ABA’s Commission on Women in the Profession (see what I mean about the leveraged impact of empowering women, specifically?). In the coming days, I plan to post some resources that I think are very useful - some of which my mentors have brought to my attention, and some I’ve found in my own research.

c. Host needed conversations here as well, and create a collaborative environment where people of different backgrounds can come together in an environment rooted in humility, personal growth, and all of us keeping our eye on the prize - we are all in this together, we all want the same outcome. I need time (and help from any DEI experts who may be reading this) to roll this out, but it’s coming because it is necessary (so please stay connected so we can find you when the time is ripe).

d. Help progressive women lawyers, Part I ~ brave leaders who want to use their power and influence to elevate others ~ to connect broadly within each other, and to nurture this new, emerging network so members generously share resources, contacts, and access to elevate one another’s efforts. Related point, I want women lawyers to be aware of, and connect outside this circle, too, such as learning of visionary women entrepreneurs, like the brilliantly-conceived Hello Seven, which aims to give black women entrepreneurs, and their allies like me, tools to achieve economic power.

e. Help progressive women lawyers, Part II - offer women lawyers a private circle of their peers (our core offering right now, as we launch). Women leaders who are both central in a wider network and have a trusted inner circle of advisors have 2.5x the power and influence of their peers (full citation is on the home page - this fact is not borne of my own research, but rather came to my attention through an organization called Harvard Business Review ;)). I have partnered with a world-class group facilitator, Amy Castronova, who has educated hundreds of leaders, including very successful entrepreneurs, in roundtable best practices that were codified by one of my role models, Mo Fathelbab, and described in his book, Forum: The Secret Advantage of Successful Leaders. As women lawyers, we are often a rare combo of alpha types - and also often, introverts (60% of lawyers!). As much as we are tigresses to the outside world, we too need a place where we can retreat to, share experiences and learn from one another, for what needs to be addressed privately. I’m talking about a range of personal and professional moments that happen all day - the national news that leaves us stung (#Kanye), our challenges to be taken seriously at work, our health concerns that need to be addressed in privacy, and our ideas on how to achieve our dreams before it is fit for public consumption. These roundtables should not longer be a “secret sauce” ~ women lawyers need this to level up. Just like healthy food, exercise and meditation are deceptively “simple,” roundtables are very difficult to execute well. Our aim here is to provide this population with a world-class, transformative experience, catapulting their both personal growth and their influence more externally. And to paraphrase Mo, if you think you’re “too busy” to make time for this; you’re too busy not to make time for this. An investment in yourself is as leveraged as you can get. Roundtables will give you time, because you’ll be more effective in your life. Less screw ups, less anxiety, less isolation. Hello to influence, personal growth, support and of course, the heart-melting moments that come with running with a pack that understands you and elevates you.

f. Help progressive women lawyers, Part III - support women lawyers who are mothers, and additionally (related point) support women lawyers who advocate for policies that create a more just world. I’d like to introduce anyone new to the work of MothersEsquire and one of my newer heroes (sheroes?), Michelle Browning Coughlin. I am tempted to wax on and on about the work she is doing, but in the interests of semi-brevity, I will simply say that approximately 85% of women are mothers and parenting issues, biases, etc. impact our careers bigly, and this organization is creating big waves of thought leadership and activism. Yard signs are nice but as this group knows, we need policies and laws to move the needle. Amen.

g. Help progressive women lawyers, Part IV - growing their already amazing skill set with offering new tools they might not have had the opportunity (or awareness of) to study yet. The controversy I am moved to engage in on today highlights for me that what I had thought would be longer-term offerings, such as tactical lessons in how to use language of nonviolence within the above-referenced, coordinated efforts. But maybe they should be offered sooner. There is too much to say here on nonviolence to encapsulate and promote it in a few sentences. This work is again deceptively "simple” but requires study and practice within a community of like-minded folks.

h. Help progressive women lawyers, Part V - I’m counting on you to post comments, engage on social, and share your ideas. I don’t have all the ideas - as the woman who won the popular vote wrote, “It takes a village… .” Hey white readers: don’t be scared to stand up and speak up - it’s called leadership.

i. Teach our children well. I showed by school age sons the musical Hairspray this week, which features a plotline about children effectuating change by being a leader and uniting with others for a common purpose (among many other positive messages). It spurred a necessary conversation in our home about using our privileges to “be the change” that is needed.

j. Soak ourselves in resources that opens our eyes to others’ experiences. Thank you to Amy Castronova for introducing me to the genius comedy-drama on Netflix, Dear White People. I’m just getting started.

3. Now, the personal:

a. In addition to studying history-changing tools like nonviolent communication, and fortifying ourselves personally with a high-impact personal board of advisors, we also need practices in self-care, so we can rejuvenate personally, including when we are privately wounded. This is a lifelong effort for each one of us, and having a peer group again helps us be accountable on our own self-care goals, too.

b. At the closest, most inner “circle” is our inner voice, and what is going on inside our minds. We need to pause, look at the clouds, and take a breath. When our hearts are broken from someone else’s actions, personally or societally, let us keep at front and center some wise words from the Indian film director, Anand Gandhi: “In a deeply interconnected world, there is no ‘other.’”

Let’s stand together - as Ada Okafor and David McQueen exemplify - to carry our world forward. We are interconnected. Please help me refine & spread these ideas by commenting below or on LinkedIn - I can’t make impact by myself. Thank you in advance!